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Shadows of the Past

 
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 3:06 pm    Post subject: Shadows of the Past Reply with quote

Read below about the recent insight I had about how my past has influenced my adventure pursuits.
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ctxguide
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Joined: 01 Jan 1970
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 3:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It is more apparent to me now than at any other time during my life that my life’s pursuits are a result of my experiences as a child. The early years, up until I was about 8 or 9 years old, were carefree and my family was a cohesive bond. At that time, our family recreation and leisure revolved around the outdoors. We would frequently go fishing, hiking, camping, boating, and have cook-outs.

Our home was tucked away in the woods along the top of a ridge above the Allegheny River near Franklin, Pennsylvania. This woodland home created a close family relationship with the surrounding forest and nature. We would often pick wild berries in the same areas that black bears roamed and there were a few close encounters as a result. As a way to earn some spending money, my brother and I would go trapping for animals in the woods. The skins of raccoons and foxes would bring about $10 per pelt, which we would use as our allowance. My brother and I would also invite our friends over to play in the woods. We would build dams in the spring-fed gully and cabins from the fallen trees.

This good lifestyle was short-lived. My parents became increasingly bitter toward each other and our family ended in divorce. I went with my mother to her family’s home town that was a dilapidated farming community devoid of forests. My brother went with my dad to a place that was no longer in the woods, but within a short drive away. The ramshackle little town surrounded by miles of open land had given me culture shock. I no longer had my close friends and my beloved forest was long gone. As the years went by, I grew to resent my new home. It was as if a piece of me had died.

It wasn’t until high school when I had my driver’s license that I began to venture back into the woods again. Hungry for adventure and freedom, my friends and I would drive out to spectacular State Parks and go hiking through dense forests, bouldering massive sandstone rocks, crawling through many tight caves, and spend many nights camping deep in the woods. These escapist activities were necessary for us to cope with the otherwise monotonous and depressing environment that we called home. For me, this was not only escapism, but a yearning for the forest home that I once knew.

Once I was in college, the drive for freedom and adventure had exploded into an obsession. I had to get away; it was if my life depended on it. My first taste of true escape was a trip out west to volunteer as an outdoor grounds keeper at Holden Village, a retreat center high in the Cascade Mountains of Washington. The rugged landscape was intoxicating. The smell of pine was heavy in the air and the thick green forests were accented with sharp snowcapped mountains. I spent all of my free time hiking with friends and solo; I even encountered my first grizzly bear. After this excursion had ended, I thought that it would have quenched my wonder lust. To my surprise, it had ignited a blaze that could only be satisfied by more wilderness.

At halfway through my sophomore year, I quit school and began taking on odd jobs to save money for a backpacking trip to Alaska. The next fall, my best friend and I traveled 15,000 miles (round-trip) from Pennsylvania to Alaska and backpacked dozens of wilderness locations along the way. I have still never felt such a sense of freedom and accomplishment as I did when I was on that trip. We had climbed many mountains, encountered dangerous animals, survived many terrible storms, and became completely comfortable in the absolute wilderness. It was as if I was finally home again.

Almost 14 years have passed since that tremendous voyage to Alaska, but I still carry the wilderness and adventure in my heart. Even though I have settled down, the core values of that experience are still with me. My most important recreational pursuits are rooted in the forest; I am an avid mountain biker, an expert hiker, and dabble in rock climbing, XC skiing, and other outdoor adventure sports. I have also created a website as a hobby, Connecticut Explorer’s Guide (www.ctxguide.com), a comprehensive outdoor adventure resource that is free to the public. The website gives me an intellectual outlet for my outdoor adventures.

The role of leisure and recreation in my life are complex. Escapism and adventure are still important to me and these pursuits have a way of melting away the stresses of everyday life. I still feel the longing for my childhood home in the Pennsylvania forest as well as my home in the Alaska wilderness, but whenever I go into the woods, I feel at home again. These pursuits are also a form of self-expression; for example, mountain biking is a way for me to release aggressive emotions in a safe way. This self-expression through recreation, in a way, is a substitute for my missing social life. My leisure and recreational pursuits are very much a part of who I am, but I also enjoy the sense of camaraderie that comes with participating in outdoor adventures with groups.

I do not expect my core recreational preferences to change too much, but I know that I will have to adapt to new things. My wife and I will someday have children and I know that there will be great change associated with that event. Even so, no matter how my recreational spirit manifests itself, I’m sure that it will be related to the outdoors; the mountains and the forests have become a part of me. I know there will be a day, hopefully many decades down the road, when my body gives up the ghost for mountain biking and backpacking, but if reminiscence can be considered a leisure pursuit, I will be basking in the warm memories of my more adventurous and able-bodied youth.


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